Going Back To School - A sense of being between worlds...

[Frances Tay McHugh]

Lately, I have come to reflect upon the importance of identity in relation to work. Until now, while I recognised it, I don't think I thought about it very much in terms of how it affects my world-view and also my sense of place in the world. Let me explain.



I have been working for 14 years now. Back when I finished my undergrad degree in 1993, I was the typical young adult - eager beaver about getting into the workforce as soon as possible and making my mark in the world. In fact, I remember my mother asking me if I wanted to continue my studies and do a masters degree at that point. After slogging through what began as a double degree in Law and Economics and finally ending up with a B.Econs from Australian National University in Canberra, I had had enough. I remember saying to her: "Do you think pursuing further studies is as simple as going down the street and getting a loaf of bread?" I was itching to get out of there as fast as I could.



Now, I find myself, 3 days a week, in a lecture hall, pursuing a MA in Social Development and Sustainable Livelihoods. Deja vu. Trying to find a free spot in the computer lab. Dealing with library returns. Scribbling notes; wrestling with reading lists....



Recently, I was in hospital at the A&E ward; hooked up to a saline drip and buckled over suffering from some form of gastro-entitis or whatever. At registration, I was asked my occupation. I didn't know what would be best - self-employed, consultant or student. I opted for "student." I find myself in-between worlds. Since I work remotely and on project basis now, my time occupied mostly with the abovementioned reading lists, I felt it more honest to say I am a student. And yet...



Admitting I am a student, I find myself viewing myself more dimly; like a less-than-active contributing member of society. I no longer count entrepreneurs as my usual social circle and business networking events no longer feature on my PDA calendar. It is as if I have swapped one identity for another, and all the baggage and experience that entails. Living primarily off my savings as opposed to cashflow also figures for this semi-state of disenfranchisement.



So... which brings me full circle to a reflection of how shallow my life has been (could have been?). An identity tied to a business card and my function. Surely, there is more to me than my services? So, with a wry smile, I find myself having to adjust to the unfamiliar and becoming, yet again, reacquainted with myself in my own skin sans any pretense of importance that comes from my ability to clinch projects or perform for my clients.



Once again, I am at a new crossroad and where my future career path takes me depends entirely on whether I take a left or right turn or plod straight ahead after I finish my studies. The risk-taker that I am, and an extremely curious sort, I may just go off and do something completely different! Having said all that, this curious state of limbo is not all uncomfortable or disempowering. In fact, I highly recommend it for anyone who has grown too comfortable and may need to redefine themselves :)

[Dr. Marlena Corcoran]

Dear Frances, Your essay is so well written that I'll bet Colin could suggest a place online where you might contribute it as an article. Welcome to M4S. --Marlena

[colinong]

Funnily, I graduated from UWA Perth with B Econs too - was quite a late bloomer and was the oldest in my graduation year.

Other than my degree, the most important lesson that I brought back from my overseas studies in Australia was the appreciation of the fact that I had to be more aware of the ASEAN region - where I was born :)

Thanks Frances for your sharing :)